Fyodor Dostoevsky

have cast myself down.

"Oh no! Why so? I believe you," she said, but in such a

manner--in the manner of which, at times, she was a mistress--and

with such a note of disdain and viperish arrogance in her tone,

that God knows I could have killed her.

Yes, at that moment she stood in peril. I had not lied to her

about that.

"Surely you are not a coward?" suddenly she asked me.

"I do not know," I replied. "Perhaps I am, but I do not know.

I have long given up thinking about such things."

"If I said to you, 'Kill that man,' would you kill him?"

"Whom?"

"Whomsoever I wish?"

"The Frenchman?"

"Do not ask me questions; return me answers. I repeat,

whomsoever I wish? I desire to see if you were speaking

seriously just now."

She awaited my reply with such gravity and impatience that I

found the situation unpleasant.

"Do YOU, rather, tell me," I said, "what is going on here? Why

do you seem half-afraid of me? I can see for myself what is

wrong. You are the step-daughter of a ruined and insensate man

who is smitten with love for this devil of a Blanche. And there

is this Frenchman, too, with his mysterious influence over you.

Yet, you actually ask me such a question! If you do not tell me

how things stand, I shall have to put in my oar and do something.

Are you ashamed to be frank with me? Are you shy of me? "

"I am not going to talk to you on that subject. I have asked

you a question, and am waiting for an answer."

"Well, then--I will kill whomsoever you wish," I said. "But are

you REALLY going to bid me do such deeds?"

"Why should you think that I am going to let you off? I shall

bid you do it, or else renounce me. Could you ever do the

latter? No, you know that you couldn't. You would first kill

whom I had bidden you, and then kill ME for having dared to send

you away!"

Something seemed to strike upon my brain as I heard these words.

Of course, at the time I took them half in jest and half as a

challenge; yet, she had spoken them with great seriousness. I

felt thunderstruck that she should so express herself, that she

should assert such a right over me, that she should assume such

authority and say outright: "Either you kill whom I bid you, or

I will have nothing more to do with you." Indeed, in what she

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