Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Not in the least," I replied. "You must know that when I was

in Berlin I frequently used to hear the Berliners repeat, and

repellently prolong, a certain phrase--namely, 'Ja wohl!'; and,

happening to meet this couple in the carriage-drive, I found,

for some reason or another, that this phrase suddenly recurred

to my memory, and exercised a rousing effect upon my spirits.

Moreover, on the three previous occasions that I have met the

Baroness she has walked towards me as though I were a worm which

could easily be crushed with the foot. Not unnaturally, I too

possess a measure of self-respect; wherefore, on THIS occasion I

took off my hat, and said politely (yes, I assure you it was

said politely): 'Madame, j'ai l'honneur d'etre votre esclave.'

Then the Baron turned round, and said 'Hein!'; whereupon I

felt moved to ejaculate in answer 'Ja wohl!' Twice I shouted

it at him--the first time in an ordinary tone, and the second

time with the greatest prolonging of the words of which I was

capable. That is all."

I must confess that this puerile explanation gave me great

pleasure. I felt a strong desire to overlay the incident with an

even added measure of grossness; so, the further I proceeded,

the more did the gusto of my proceeding increase.

"You are only making fun of me! " vociferated the General as,

turning to the Frenchman, he declared that my bringing about of

the incident had been gratuitous. De Griers smiled

contemptuously, and shrugged his shoulders.

"Do not think THAT," I put in. "It was not so at all. I grant

you that my behaviour was bad--I fully confess that it was so,

and make no secret of the fact. I would even go so far as to

grant you that my behaviour might well be called stupid and

indecent tomfoolery; but, MORE than that it was not. Also, let me

tell you that I am very sorry for my conduct. Yet there is one

circumstance which, in my eyes, almost absolves me from regret

in the matter. Of late--that is to say, for the last two or three

weeks--I have been feeling not at all well. That is to say, I

have been in a sick, nervous, irritable, fanciful condition, so

that I have periodically lost control over myself. For instance,

on more than one occasion I have tried to pick a quarrel even

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