Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Sluggard"--why, it is a calling and vocation, it is a career. Do not jest, it

is so. I should then be a member of the best club by right, and should find

my occupation in continually respecting myself. I knew a gentleman who

prided himself all his life on being a connoisseur of Lafitte. He considered

this as his positive virtue, and never doubted himself. He died, not simply

with a tranquil, but with a triumphant conscience, and he was quite right,

too. Then I should have chosen a career for myself, I should have been a

sluggard and a glutton, not a simple one, but, for instance, one with

sympathies for everything sublime and beautiful. How do you like that? I

have long had visions of it. That "sublime and beautiful" weighs heavily

on my mind at forty But that is at forty; then--oh, then it would have

been different! I should have found for myself a form of activity in keeping

with it, to be precise, drinking to the health of everything "sublime and

beautiful." I should have snatched at every opportunity to drop a tear into

my glass and then to drain it to all that is "sublime and beautiful." I should

then have turned everything into the sublime and the beautiful; in the

nastiest, unquestionable trash, I should have sought out the sublime and

the beautiful. I should have exuded tears like a wet sponge. An artist, for

instance, paints a picture worthy of Gay. At once I drink to the health of

the artist who painted the picture worthy of Gay, because I love all that is

"sublime and beautiful." An author has written AS YOU WILL: at once I drink

to the health of "anyone you will" because I love all that is "sublime and

beautiful."

I should claim respect for doing so. I should persecute anyone who

would not show me respect. I should live at ease, I should die with

dignity, why, it is charming, perfectly charming! And what a good round

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