Fyodor Dostoevsky

withered off than bring one brick to such a building! Don't remind me

that I have just rejected the palace of crystal for the sole reason that one

cannot put out one's tongue at it. I did not say because I am so fond of

putting my tongue out. Perhaps the thing I resented was, that of all your

edifices there has not been one at which one could not put out one's

tongue. On the contrary, I would let my tongue be cut off out of gratitude

if things could be so arranged that I should lose all desire to put it out. It

is not my fault that things cannot be so arranged, and that one must be

satisfied with model flats. Then why am I made with such desires? Can I

have been constructed simply in order to come to the conclusion that all

my construction is a cheat? Can this be my whole purpose? I do not

believe it.

But do you know what: I am convinced that we underground folk

ought to be kept on a curb. Though we may sit forty years underground

without speaking, when we do come out into the light of day and break

out we talk and talk and talk ....

XI

The long and the short of it is, gentlemen, that it is better to do nothing!

Better conscious inertia! And so hurrah for underground! Though I have

said that I envy the normal man to the last drop of my bile, yet I should

not care to be in his place such as he is now (though I shall not cease

envying him). No, no; anyway the underground life is more advantageous.

There, at any rate, one can ... Oh, but even now I am lying! I

am lying because I know myself that it is not underground that is better,

but something different, quite different, for which I am thirsting, but

which I cannot find! Damn underground!

I will tell you another thing that would be better, and that is, if I

myself believed in anything of what I have just written. I swear to you,

gentlemen, there is not one thing, not one word of what I have written that I

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