Fyodor Dostoevsky

was in a state of vexation and perplexity, and looked at me queerly.

He did not sit down and did not ask me to.

"H'm ... yes ... tomorrow, then. Will you pay your subscription

now? I just ask so as to know," he muttered in embarrassment.

I flushed crimson, as I did so I remembered that I had owed Simonov

fifteen roubles for ages--which I had, indeed, never forgotten, though I

had not paid it.

"You will understand, Simonov, that I could have no idea when I came

here .... I am very much vexed that I have forgotten ...."

"All right, all right, that doesn't matter. You can pay tomorrow after the

dinner. I simply wanted to know .... Please don't ..."

He broke off and began pacing the room still more vexed. As he walked

he began to stamp with his heels.

"Am I keeping you?" I asked, after two minutes of silence.

"Oh!" he said, starting, "that is--to be truthful--yes. I have to go and

see someone ... not far from here," he added in an apologetic voice,

somewhat abashed.

"My goodness, why didn't you say so?" I cried, seizing my cap, with an

astonishingly free-and-easy air, which was the last thing I should have

expected of myself.

"It's close by ... not two paces away," Simonov repeated, accompanying

me to the front door with a fussy air which did not suit him at all. "So

five o'clock, punctually, tomorrow," he called down the stairs after me.

He was very glad to get rid of me. I was in a fury.

"What possessed me, what possessed me to force myself upon them?" I

wondered, grinding my teeth as I strode along the street, "for a scoundrel,

a pig like that Zverkov! Of course I had better not go; of course, I must

just snap my fingers at them. I am not bound in any way. I'll send

Simonov a note by tomorrow's post ...."

But what made me furious was that I knew for certain that I should go,

that I should make a point of going; and the more tactless, the more

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