Fyodor Dostoevsky

beating me and will kick me out. That's most likely, indeed. No matter!

Anyway, I shall first slap him; the initiative will be mine; and by the laws

of honour that is everything: he will be branded and cannot wipe off the

slap by any blows, by nothing but a duel. He will be forced to fight. And

let them beat me now. Let them, the ungrateful wretches! Trudolyubov

will beat me hardest, he is so strong; Ferfitchkin will be sure to catch hold

sideways and tug at my hair. But no matter, no matter! That's what I am

going for. The blockheads will be forced at last to see the tragedy of it all!

When they drag me to the door I shall call out to them that in reality they

are not worth my little finger. Get on, driver, get on!" I cried to the driver.

He started and flicked his whip, I shouted so savagely.

"We shall fight at daybreak, that's a settled thing. I've done with the

office. Ferfitchkin made a joke about it just now. But where can I get

pistols? Nonsense! I'll get my salary in advance and buy them. And

powder, and bullets? That's the second's business. And how can it all be

done by daybreak? and where am I to get a second? I have no friends.

Nonsense!" I cried, lashing myself up more and more. "It's of no consequence!

The first person I meet in the street is bound to be my second, just

as he would be bound to pull a drowning man out of water. The most

eccentric things may happen. Even if I were to ask the director himself to

be my second tomorrow, he would be bound to consent, if only from a

feeling of chivalry, and to keep the secret! Anton Antonitch ...."

The fact is, that at that very minute the disgusting absurdity of my plan

and the other side of the question was clearer and more vivid to my

imagination than it could be to anyone on earth. But ....

"Get on, driver, get on, you rascal, get on!"

"Ugh, sir!" said the son of toil.

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